Brave Pushal

One of my team mates Pushal (Name has been changed to protect the guilty) reached office in bandages today. He modestly told everyone that he fell off his bike and got hurt. But not many know about his valiant act of bravery which he showcased yesterday. Allow me to elaborate.

Pushal was on his way home after a tiring battle with UAT defects. On his way home, he saw a bull munching grass on the road. The bull looked very happy and contended. Pushal felt inner peace after watching the bull and wished that he also had a similar life. A few metres ahead, Pushal stopped his bike suddenly. He had seen a gorgeous girl on the road. His brain started racing thinking about techniques of offering a lift to the girl. Suddenly, the girl looked at him and smiled. Pushal's heart stopped.

And then, the next instant, the girl's smiling expression changed and she looked horrified. Pushal immediately checked his mirror to see what went wrong with his appearance when he saw the bull charging towards him.

Pushal froze in terror anticipating the bull to attack him but the bull seemed to be interested in the girl. The bull crossed Pushal and started chasing the fleeing girl. Pushal couldn't take it any longer. He had to save the girl. He yelled, "Aye Bullaaaaaaaaaaaa" and started his bike in full throttle.

Pushal removed his helmet, took his goggles from his pocket and wore it in Rajni style. His bike also understood what was expected from it and it started chasing the bull on 1 tyre.
The distance between Pushal and the bull was approximately 10 metres when Pushal yelled again, "Aye Bullaaaaaaaaaaa".
The bull stopped in his tracks to see who was yelling and the bull's eyes met with Pushal's eyes.
And the next instant... THUDDDDDDDDD!!!!!

Pushal had rammed his bike into the bull.

The result -
The bull stood there unaffected.
The girl ran away.
Pushal had to go to the hospital and is now in bandages.

The Joys of Interviewing

I was conducting interviews for my company yesterday. The first few candidates I interviewed were from small towns, very listless and had a “Please have pity on me” expression on their faces.

Sanket: You belong to a non-computer stream. Do you think joining an IT company will be good for your career?
Girl 1: Sir, my parents are ill and I need a job desperately. They will die if I don’t get a job soon.
Sanket: Ok. Wrong question. Can you tell me about pointers in C?
Girl 1: Sir, My parents had to go through a lot of hardships to educate me. I cannot see them suffering. If you give me this job, I will be your slave forever

Well, having a full-time slave was definitely not a bad option. I pondered over it for a long time, but then, decided to proceed with the interview. It turned out that she answered most of my questions correctly and I approved her for the next round (Let me clarify that this had something nothing to do with the slave offer).

The next few interviews were quite similar, although no one gave me the “I will be your slave” offer again !

And then, the hero of our story walked in - Super smart, brimming with confidence, wearing a tie, a neatly pressed bright white shirt, jet black trousers and perfectly polished shoes.

Sanket: Hi, please have a seat. Can you tell me something about yourself?
Hero: Sir, I am a strong believer in unleashing ubiquitous synergies. My objective is to be a part of a global organization where I can harness impactful paradigms to propel the organization to dizzying heights. I want to innovate revolutionary architectures which will expedite my ambition of impacting best-of-breed convergence and reintermediating interactive vortals.

Huhhh !!!
I felt like I had been hit by a Tsunami !

Sanket: Ok. That’s nice. Can you tell me something about function overloading?
Hero: Definitely sir. Function overloading is one of the most fantastic concepts of Object Oriented programming.
Sanket: Ok… and?
Hero: That’s it sir.
Sanket: Can you elaborate?
Hero: Sure sir. Function overloading is done when the algorithm complexity reaches O(n log n). In this case, we implement the constructor to re-initialize all the hashmaps and convert them into collections. We then use a combination of Strand sort and Binary tree sort algorithms to self balance the function and then finally encrypt the entire logic using RSA.

WTF... This guy seemed to be on a mission to send me to the nearest mental hospital. I had to shut this dude’s mouth. I took a piece of paper and told him to write an algorithm in C to print the following output –

1
1 2 1
1 2 3 2 1
1 2 3 4 3 2 1

He scribbled something on the paper and handed it over to me. The solution read -

void main()
{
print("1”);
print(“1 2 1”);
print(“1 2 3 2 1”);
print(“1 2 3 4 3 2 1”);
}

That was it. I decided to end the interview.

Sanket: I am done. You can proceed to the lobby where the coordinator will inform you about the remaining process.
Hero: Thank you so much sir. I can assure you that I will be a valuable asset to the company. My presence in the company will empower you to transform holistic interfaces, expedite frictionless synergies and monetize mission-critical metrics. My expertise in unlocking collaborative supply chains will help you to engage integrated dark web ideologies and visualize extensible channels.

I am still recovering from that onslaught !