Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
It is a lazy Sunday morning and I am still in bed. My peaceful life seems too good to be true. Suddenly the wife walks into the bedroom in a state of panic.
"The bathroom tap is leaking", she announces.
I pretend to sleep but she pulls me out of bed and drags me to the bathroom. I take a look at the tap and it is a ridiculously unnoticeable leak, I mean, there is a drop leaking every 10 seconds or so.
"That's not a leak", is my response as I proceed to head back to bed. But the wife is in no mood to relent. She proceeds to lecture me about the shortage of water in our city and how the Zulu tribe in Africa struggles for water. Seeing that I am unaffected by her theatrics, she gives up temporarily and disappears into the kitchen as I drift back to my state of bliss.
A while later, she again storms into the bedroom and forces me to recheck the leak. This time, I can see a thin line of water coming out of the tap. The wife tells me to call a plumber and get it repaired immediately.
I am aghast at the thought. I argue, "Why do we need a plumber? I am an engineer. I can do it myself". The wife tries to convince me that engineering and plumbing are separate branches of science but I am adamant. She finally proceeds to the market for grocery shopping and tells me that the tap should be repaired by the time she comes back.
Now, the wife generally takes 2 hours for grocery shopping, and I am confident that I can repair the tap in 30 minutes. So I head back to bed. I wake up after a while and realise that I have been sleeping for more than 2 hours. I dive towards the bathroom and start inspecting the tap. I press down hard on the tap and rotate it. The leaking stops. Ahha! I have found a temporary solution to the problem in less than a minute. My inflated engineer ego is now sure that I can fix the issue permanently. I get my toolbox and start tightening the tap bolt using a wrench.
Suddenly, the universe decides to take revenge on me for all my misdeeds and the tap comes apart, sending a sharp spray of water in all directions. I am dripping wet in a second and so is the complete bathroom. I try to choke the tap using my T-shirt but the tap turns out to be more powerful than I imagined.
In a state of panic now, I decide to keep my ego aside and call the plumber. Fortunately, he is in our building and comes immediately. He has a spare part in his inventory and fixes the tap in a minute. I am now convinced that engineering and plumbing are separate branches of science. However, I cannot admit this to the wife and get the "I told you so" treatment. So I decide to keep this as my little secret.
I pay the plumber with a Rs. 500 note. He says he doesn't have change and will return the balance the next day. I tell him that I will collect the balance from his shop later. The plumber is gone and the house is left with a wet bathroom, a perfectly working tap and of course, a smart and victorious engineer. 5 minutes later, the wife is back home and is greeted with a casual story about how I repaired the tap in 5 minutes with my expert engineering skills and how all plumbers will be out of their jobs if there were more husbands like me !
The wife is definitely surprised, I think she suspects some foul play after looking at the wet bathroom and my dripping clothes but she has probably believed me. My Sunday is going rather well. Suddenly the door bell rings. Who could it be at this time? I open the door and my world comes crashing down. It's the bloody plumber who has decided to return the balance money. I spend the next one hour listening to the wife's "I told you so" speech as I agree to her punishment clauses which include taking her for shopping in the evening.
I may have lost the battle but the war is not over yet. I will have my revenge soon...
