It is my first visit to Starbucks. I walk to the counter to get a cup of coffee. A sophisticated looking girl welcomes me at the counter.
Girl: Welcome to Starbucks sir. What will you have today?
Me: I’ll have a coffee.
The girl has a rather shocked expression on her face. Apparently, she has never seen anyone ordering simple plain coffee at Starbucks. She gives me the “I-don’t-know-where-these-buffoons-come-from” look. But she quickly recomposes herself.
Girl: Hmm… so what kind of coffee would you like?
Ahh! She wants to dive deeper. No problem. I have some basic coffee knowledge.
Me: I’ll go for a cappuccino.
Girl: Okay. Do you want to go for standard, dry, wet or flavoured?
Me (a bit flustered): Umm… standard
Girl: Would you like whole, nonfat, 2 percent, soy or coconut milk?
Huhhh!!! I have no clue what this girl is saying.
Me: Normal milk.
Girl: Okay that would be 2 percent. Good choice sir. Would you like decaf?
Me: Well, okay.
Girl: Would you like Short, Tall, Grande or Venti?
I am in a state of panic now. I am not sure whether this girl is talking in English or not. I start looking for an escape route. Suddenly, a guy comes behind me and nonchalantly rattles off his order.
Guy: I will have a Venti Iced Skinny Hazelnut Macchiato, Sugar-Free Syrup, Extra Shot, Light Ice, No Whip.
Girl: Right away sir.
Eureka! I have found my solution. I look at the girl and say -
Me: I will have whatever this gentleman ordered.
Girl: Sure sir. Can I have your name?
Me: It’s Sanket
She takes a rather large glass, writes “Snake” on it, pours my drink into it and hands it over to me.
Me: My name is Sanket, not Snake.
Girl: That is what I have written sir.
I have no further energy to spend on this rather complicated conversation. I take my coffee and leave.
P.S. After studying the Starbucks syllabus for a while, I was able to gather enough confidence to visit the joint again and I am pleased to report that I did perform rather well. And surprisingly, during my research, I also figured out why the Starbucks girl misspelt my name. It is apparently a genius way to market their brand !
