The Roommate

The contents of this blog post are in Hindi. People who don't understand Hindi, kindly excuse.

Have you met people who are an entertainment package in themselves? My new roommate is one of those people. He has been relentlessly fucking my brain for the past few days.

Here are some excerpts from our conversations. For the sake of convenience, let us call him RM (RoomMate).

Scene 1

RM: Mujhe ek baat batao... Montreal bada hai ki Toronto?

Sanket: Pata nahi

RM: Aap 3 saal se ho yaha par... kuch toh bolo

Sanket: I guess Montreal

RM: Lekin maine abhi google pe dekha... Montreal 4259 sq km hai aur Toronto 7125 sq km hai. Toh Toronto bada hua na?

Sanket: Tujhe pata hai toh pooch kyu raha hai mujhe?

RM: Maine socha aap 3 saal se yaha ho... toh aapko better idea hoga

Sanket: ???!!!???

Scene 2

RM: Aap IIFA awards dekhke gaye the na?

Sanket: Haan

RM: IIFA walo ne jitne paise kharch kiye utne kama liye kya?

Sanket: ???!!!???

Scene 3

RM: Canada ka credit card US mein chalta hai kya?

Sanket: Haan chalta hai

RM: Lekin currency toh alag hai na

Sanket: Haan... exchange rate apply hota hai agar Canada ka credit card US mein use kiya toh

RM: Fir kya fayda card use karne ka? Isse accha US mein credit card ke liye apply karo

Sanket: Lekin uske liye US mein rehna padega na

RM: Iska matlab nahi chalta na card

Sanket: ???!!!???

Scene 4

RM: Apple unlocked mil raha hai

Sanket: Matlab?

RM: Aapke paas apple hai na... wohi wala unlocked mil raha hai aaj kal

Sanket: Oh iPhone... mera wala pehle se unlocked hai

RM: Fir kya tension hai aapko?

Sanket: Maine kab bola mujhe tension hai???

RM: Kitne ka liya aapne?

Sanket: Around $750

RM: Lekin mujhe toh $500 mein mil raha hai

Sanket: Woh illegal hoga na

RM: Illegal kaha... koi giraftaar karega kya mujhe?

Sanket: Waise nahi... agar phone mein problem aayega, toh Apple theek karke nahi dega na

RM: Yahi toh problem hai... yaha ka phone system bekaar hai... India ka better hai

Sanket: ???!!!???

Scene 5

RM: Main TD bank mein account khulwa raha hoon

Sanket: kyu... kya hua?

RM: Main kal ek shop mein gaya tha... usne bola ki sirf cash accepted hai.

Sanket: So?

RM: Toh mera ICICI bank ka debit card accept nahi kiya usne

Sanket: Obviously na... sirf cash allowed hai toh card kaise accept hoga?

RM: Isliye toh TD bank mein account khulwana hai... ICICI bank bekaar hai

Sanket: Agar shop sirf cash accept karta hai, toh TD mein account khulwa ke kya fayda?

RM: Accha rahega na... comfortable hoga sab kuch

Sanket: ???!!!???