Ordering a Coffee

It is my first visit to Starbucks. I walk to the counter to get a cup of coffee. A sophisticated looking girl welcomes me at the counter.

Girl: Welcome to Starbucks sir. What will you have today?

Me: I’ll have a coffee.

The girl has a rather shocked expression on her face. Apparently, she has never seen anyone ordering simple plain coffee at Starbucks. She gives me the “I-don’t-know-where-these-buffoons-come-from” look. But she quickly recomposes herself.

Girl: Hmm… so what kind of coffee would you like?

Ahh! She wants to dive deeper. No problem. I have some basic coffee knowledge.

Me: I’ll go for a cappuccino.

Girl: Okay. Do you want to go for standard, dry, wet or flavoured?

Me (a bit flustered): Umm… standard

Girl: Would you like whole, nonfat, 2 percent, soy or coconut milk?

Huhhh!!! I have no clue what this girl is saying.

Me: Normal milk.

Girl: Okay that would be 2 percent. Good choice sir. Would you like decaf?

Me: Well, okay.

Girl: Would you like Short, Tall, Grande or Venti?

I am in a state of panic now. I am not sure whether this girl is talking in English or not. I start looking for an escape route. Suddenly, a guy comes behind me and nonchalantly rattles off his order. 

Guy: I will have a Venti Iced Skinny Hazelnut Macchiato, Sugar-Free Syrup, Extra Shot, Light Ice, No Whip.

Girl: Right away sir.

Eureka! I have found my solution. I look at the girl and say - 

Me: I will have whatever this gentleman ordered.

Girl: Sure sir. Can I have your name?

Me: It’s Sanket

She takes a rather large glass, writes “Snake” on it, pours my drink into it and hands it over to me.

Me: My name is Sanket, not Snake.

Girl: That is what I have written sir.

I have no further energy to spend on this rather complicated conversation. I take my coffee and leave.

P.S. After studying the Starbucks syllabus for a while, I was able to gather enough confidence to visit the joint again and I am pleased to report that I did perform rather well. And surprisingly, during my research, I also figured out why the Starbucks girl misspelt my name. It is apparently a genius way to market their brand !